A love, regrettable but not regretted

I have a confession to make. For eighteen months now, I've been lying to you. Okay, not really lying, just not telling you the whole truth. You've been reading about my mental health struggles, my family, my husband's recently discovered autism, the difficulty handling everyday tasks, the stress and the chronic anxiety and the antidepressants. … Continue reading A love, regrettable but not regretted

Revisit, redress, restart, or: being complete within oneself.

Lately, I've been revisiting places that are connected with a lot of past pain. My intention wasn't to test myself, although that was a happy side-effect, given the positive outcome. They're just good places to go hiking, to have coffee and a piece of cake, or a burger and a beer, or a Glühwein–'tis, after … Continue reading Revisit, redress, restart, or: being complete within oneself.

High tolerance

"You have high tolerance," Therapist said. "Huh?" "When something negative happens, when someone's behavior hurts you, you analyze and look for the reasons inside yourself. Then you try to find the underlying causes for the behavior. You don't just dismiss the person." Other people more often than not say, "what an asshole," and are on … Continue reading High tolerance

Sacrifice and loyalty, to the point of stupidity

Have you seen those affirmational posts on Instagram about wronged gentle souls? They go like this: "Don't stop giving, you wonderful human! Yes, I know that everyone else is so mean, hurting you, taking advantage of you, taking you for granted. But the world needs souls like yours! Keep being the awesome, self-sacrificing being you … Continue reading Sacrifice and loyalty, to the point of stupidity

About (my) privilege

I can't watch anything on TV – concentration isn't there. Books. How about books? I said I'd spend the kids' holidays reading. But today, my thoughts keep drifting. Okay. Take a walk? But it's stormy outside. I could try yoga, but yesterday's attempt didn't work out. I can barely climb the stairs today. Something's wrong … Continue reading About (my) privilege